you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
