i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
