Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
