They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
