If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
did i walk over a car last night?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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