Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
