he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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