I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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