Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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