If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we're so committed to being not committed
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
