I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
