i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
