i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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