Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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