we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
