Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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