Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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