I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
