I think scott just propositioned me for sex
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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