Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
