I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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