The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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