You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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