her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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