I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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