I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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