now i know why i became what i already was.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
