In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
