I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
