I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
