I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
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