so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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