If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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