he thought i was a dude.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
