What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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