Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
