they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize