last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
