She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
