i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
