i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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