For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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