i think my mom watched the whole time
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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