i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
