talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just pee around me
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
