yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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