and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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