Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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