At least make sure they are 18
Why
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
