Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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