so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
