Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
