so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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