addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
