do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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