I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
