is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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