i permit you to call me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
