can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
