I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
