thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
as a side note pls kill me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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