I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
