This dress was meant to end up on your floor
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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