have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
