I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize