If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
